The Curse of the Koi Pond
by yet to come
Summary: Legend has it that somewhere in Japan there is a magical pond that holds the spirit of love within its waters. And whosoever falls into the pond, if they do not already know love, will change in such a way that they will find love. DISCONTINUED!
1. Curse of the Koi Pond

**The Curse of the Koi Pond**

Legend has it that somewhere in Japan there is a magical pond that holds the spirit of love within its waters. And whosoever falls into the pond, if they do not already know love, will change in such a way that they will find love. Few realize how drastic these changes can be…

* * *

The battle raged on, all three ninja groups never once taking the lead.

"ITACHI!!! YOU WILL DIE!!" Screamed a raven haired teen, who was clearly P.O. ed, red eyes flaring.

"FOOLISH LITTLE BROTHER!! DO YOU REALLY BELIEVE YOU CAN DEFEAT ME?!?" Countered the older, handsome brother, eyes just as red, yet more developed, matching the blood that coated the ground.

"SASUKE!!! GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE!!!" An idiotic blonde howled, a fox form starting to cover his body as he took care of a snake-like man.

One group was Akatsuki, a gang of S-ranked shinobi. Who were, Itachi, Zetzu, Kisame, Tobi, and, their notorious leader, Pein.

Another group was from the village of sound. This group consisted of Orochimaro, Sasuke, and a few other people who no one really cares about.

The last group was a mixture of the Village hidden in the sand, and the Village hidden in the leaves. In this group there was Gaara, Naruto, Lee, Neji, Kakashi, Kiba, and Shino (who was busy trying to save a group of ants.)

The battle raged on…that is until seven people were, by some strange force, dragged into a certain pond…


	2. Figuring it Out

Figuring it out…

Everyone stopped as an eerie glow emitted from the pond. Gaara, Sasuke, Lee, Orochimoro, Zetzu, Tobi, and Kiba all stepped forward to see what in the world was happening to the unlucky seven who fell into the glow.

The first to come out of the pond was Neji….or some of it looked like Neji, Lee soon went to assist. The next to surface was Kisame, but once again he was very different…and once again his loyal friend Zetzu came to his side. Kakashi and Shino were the next to come out, and they easily accepted the help from both Tobi and Kiba. Naruto and Itachi were the next to come out…and surprisingly Sasuke helped Naruto, for unknown reasons, and Gaara, sensing there was something wrong, help Itachi up. The last to come out was Pein, who was quickly helped, to his own dismay, by Orochimoro.

A deep silence fell over everyone, no one talked, no one moved, and no one seemed to breathe. (But everyone knows that if they stopped breathing this story would be over…)

"I now pronounce you man and wife!" A gentle voice suddenly rang out, as if the voice came from the pond itself.

"What do you mean?? We're all…" The usually confident leader's voice trailed off as he heard the new high pitch to it. "What in the world is going on?!?!"

The snake holding Pein's hand smiled, "I'm not sure…but I'm not complaining…" He hissed, now taking note of the leader's new appearance.

Soon all the 'couples' were looking at each other, shortly followed by everyone who fell into the pond letting out screams of absolute horror.

"What is this?!?!?" Sasuke cried looking at his older bro—sister.

Yes…it seemed evident at that moment…everyone who fell into the pond…was now…well…a woman. To put it shortly, and now…most of the people there were…married??? (Thanks to the Goddess of Love)

"Wait…" The older of the two raven haired brothers muttered. "What do you mean…married?"

The pond glowed once again. "You did not know love…and so…I found you love…all of you are married to the one you hold hands with."

There was a scream, then a thud as the Leader of Akatsuki realized who she was married to, and then fainted, dead away.

Soon the Goddess spoke again, "I have also gotten you all a house…they are all very close."

One key was given to each couple. And soon they were all on their way…


	3. Itachi and Gaara

Itachi and Gaara

The couple stared blankly at each other…as always. A few hours had passed since the…accident. And ever since the two people got to the fancy house, they did nothing but exchange stares.

All the couples houses looked the same. The wooden house was two stories, and had red roses painted on the bottom of the first story. The house was surrounded by small cherry blossom trees, which were in full bloom. Each house also had an enclosed back yard. In each back yard, there was a stone-outlined hot spring. And, obviously, every house's sidewalks were made of stone.

Now…as for the roses…each house has a different color of rose. The color all depends on what the female's heart reflects. For example, Itachi's bleeding heart made his roses red…the fox in Naruto made his roses orange…and as for the pink roses of Pein…well…that was just…for us to know…and you to wonder.

"Soo….we're….a couple…huh?" The black haired one finally whispered, breaking the silence.

"hn…I guess…are you alright…with you new…uhh…figure?" Gaara responded.

Itachi looked away from the sand ninja. "Well, it's odd not to have…you know what…never mind…" Itachi's now higher voice trailed off as she realized how awkward the fact he was going to state was…mostly coming from a girl.

It took Gaara a few seconds to realize what Itachi meant. "Oh…well…heh…never mind."

A low growl came from Itachi. But then something came to her mind. She couldn't fight like she used to. Without the advantage of size and body weight. (But then again…she never really had those things…) But now…she had a new…figure to…get used to.

"Hey, Gaara, do take offence to being called a panda?"

Black outlined eyes narrowed. "It all depends on who is calling me that, and why."

Itachi smirked at the sandman's words. "Well," she said as she got to her feet, "I'm going to take a walk. I'll see you later, Panda."

Gaara growled playfully. "Oh no you don't, not without me, Kitty."

Itachi glanced over at Gaara for a moment before turning and running up the stairs. So many people had said that Itachi was cat-like. But she never thought that Gaara would agree with it.

The sand ninja dashed upstairs right behind Itachi. Gaara quickly tackled Itachi to the ground, having the advantage of size. Itachi looked up at his 'panda', "What was that for?!?"

"Panda likes Kitty." Gaara stated innocently.

Itachi, for once in his life, blushed. (Like a school girl around the hottest guy in the school.) Gaara smirked at this.

"So, Panda, are you going to let me go on a walk or not?" Itachi hissed.

"No…not tonight, Panda is enjoying himself. Plus I have a better idea." Gaara grinned mischievously.

(And now I will end this scene…just because we don't want to change the rating to M. Let's see how Pein and Oro are doing…)

* * *

"Take one more step snake and I promise that you will die…"

(Well…I think I found out where the next chapter will be placed…)

* * *


	4. Pein Vs Orochimoro

Pein -vs- Orochimoro

"Take one more step, snake, and you will surely die." The auburn haired girl snapped.

"Oh, come on, Pein, I had to carry you all the way here…remember," the snake smiled, "Darling?"

Pein bared her teeth, "Don't call me that, bastard!"

And with that being said, the young female changed subjects. "Why the fuck are the roses on our house pink?!?"

The snake slithered over to his wife. "Do you remember that dream you had…the one with the princess?"

Pein's eyes spiraled out, showing her trademark. "How the hell do you know about that?!? Did you watch me sleep?!?!"

"Get rid of those eyes…" Orochimoro snapped, dodging the questions.

Pein stood, even more ticked now that she put two and two together. "Oh, hell no!"

The snake smiled, then pushed Pein back against a wall. "Something wrong? You seem to be blushing…"

An explosion, and a groan later, Orochimoro was on the ground. "Stay away from me, rapist!!!"

"Rapist or not…your stuck with me, wifey." The snake pointed out, smirking as he wiped the blood away from his mouth.

Pein glared at the snake. Then spun on her heel, and rushed out of the house.

The snake got to his feet (well…you don't hear that every day) and ran after the girl. (Apparently Pein, in this story is fairly young…so don't bug me…) Orochimoro virtually tore the entire yard apart looking for his lost 'love'. The snake dashed away from the house. He called out for his partner, saying her name over and over. Until, that is, Gaara walked out and slapped him.

"Will you shut up?! It is 12:30 at night!" Gaara hissed

The snake was about to snap at the sand freak, but then a question came to his mind. "Why don't you have a shirt on?"

Gaara's face flushed, "No reason…so why are you out here?"

"Pein ran away…she really can be a pain." (No pun intended…or…never mind…)

"Already? Wow…that was quick…but, if I were you, I would check the pond that turned him into a girl." Gaara muttered before he turned around and went back into his house.

Orochimoro ran to the pond, and, just as Gaara predicted, Pein was there. Pein was kneeling at the pond's edge. Orochimoro slowly walked over to her. "Pein?"

A low growl sounded in the direction of Pein, "What do you want, snake?"

"I have come to take you home." The snake stated.

Pein stood, but didn't turn to look at the snake. Orochimoro was the last person she wanted to hear, let alone see. Orochimoro stepped closer to Pein, he wanted to hold the person in front of him, but he didn't want her to beat him, shun him, then run away…………again. (Oh oh oh!! Foreshadowing!!!)

Finally, an evil thought came to Pein mind. She gracefully (Yes…now Pein is graceful…leave me alone….) turned to face the snake. Her bottom lip was trembling, and she had the cutest pout Orochimoro had ever seen.

"So you want me back?" Pein murmured, closing the space that was left between the couple.

Orochimoro swallowed the lump in his throat. "Of course…" The snake's voice cracked, his eyes wondered over Pein's body.

Pein suddenly snuggled against him, "Really?"

Orochimoro heard the edge in Pein's voice, "Uhh…yes…" The snake was trapped, and he knew it… so he took the final step, and wrapped his arms around Pein. And as soon as he did, he could almost feel Pein smirk against him.

"Shit!" The snake hissed as a kunai sunk into his right arm. Orochimoro looked down at Pein.

POOF! Suddenly the girl in the snake's arms disappeared. "Stupid shadow clone!"

The snake looked around, where was the real Pein? Where had she gone to? And how did he not see through the shadow clone?

"Maybe you didn't see through it, because…you didn't want to…idiot." Pein's voice murmured from behind him.

The snake spun around. "Are you going to come back or not?!" Orochimoro snapped.

"Heh, poor snake…" Pein smirked as he turned to leave.

The snake suddenly grabbed the girl by the shoulders, forcing her to stay put and look at him. "Listen. To. Me. Bitch!" The snake snapped shaking Pein viciously for every word he said.

"F-fine…What do you want?" Pein slightly stuttered. Her eyes showing an emotion the snake never saw before…fear (NOO!! PEIN HANG IN THERE!! Oh wait…I'm writing…sorry for the outburst…)

The snake sighed, and finally let Pein go. She immediately fell to the ground. Orochimoro knelt down beside her. "Hey, Pein, you okay?"

Pein suddenly started laughing, "Did you seriously fall for that!! Heh! You're even stupider than I thought!!"

"Grr…I'm wasn't scared for you, or worried about you (keep telling yourself that, Oro…) …I was shocked about the thing behind you." Orochimoro hissed.

"Yeah right!!" Pein laughed, that is, until she felt a warm breath on her ear. She yelped and spun around, and found herself face to face…with Jiraiya. "Oh gods no!!"

"Hey there," The frog hermit smiled.

The snake smiled, "Well…now you have to choose…me or him"

Pein shot a glare over at the snake. "Neither!" She spat as she got to her feet and ran off.

"God! When is she going to stop doing that?!?" The snake yelled.

Jiraiya turned towards the snake, "Oh, so she doesn't like you…interesting…"

"Stay away from her!!" The snake demanded.

"Heh, she's not yours…plus she'd make a great addition to my novels." And with that said…the frog hermit ran off after Pein.

"Oh dear god!" Orochimoro knew what Jiraiya was planning on doing. "He's going to rape her!!"

* * *

Pein ran as fast as she could, never once slowing down. She had no idea where she was going, but she didn't want to stop to look around. But, like all people, Pein's body eventually ran out of energy. She looked around, she was in a dark forest, and to her right there was a cave built from the rocks it was in. (Duh…) Slowly, Pein wandered over to the cave. Just then she heard footsteps coming from the direction of the magical pond.

"Crap!" Pein cried, and bolted into the cave. Unaware of the perverted bandits that hid in that very cave.

"Well, well…what do we have here? A stray wanderer?" A man with a red headband smiled.

"Crap, again!" Pein exclaimed as she turned to leave. But it was too late. The Bandits already stood in her way.

"Boss, I think we should keep this one, it's been awhile since we got to play." A tall ninja smirked.

Pein's eyes suddenly spiraled out, the six-ways eyes showing. "Oh, hell no!!" (Readers hold onto your seats…this is going to be exciting!!)

Just then the Boss ran up to Pein and hit her in the stomach with a hand that had glowing fingertips. Pein's chakra was completely blocked. (…never mind…)

Suddenly, a new figure appeared at the mouth of the cave. "Crap, for the third time!!"

"Come on, young woman, allow me to research you." The frog hermit smiled.

All the bandits looked over at the new figure, "Y-you're Jiraiya!!" The Boss cried, suddenly all of the bandits were talking, praising the new comer.

"You're amazing!"

"We love your writing!"

"We're your biggest fans!"

"Why did you come here?"

Jiraiya looked over at Pein, "I'm here for that girl, I want her to be my next research project."

The color drained from Pein's face as all the people turned to stare at her.

One command was suddenly heard, "Hold her down!!"

Pein tried to get away from the on coming perverts but fate was against her. (Heh…sounds like Neji.) And soon she found herself held down by all of the ninjas.

(Now let us look into Pein's mind…

Boyish and Girlish parts of Pein: Fuck, fuck, fuck…dear gods! Save me!!)

(That was predictable…)

"Get the hell away from me!! Ahh!! Rape!! Some one help!!!" Pein screamed, right before one of the bandits gagged her.

"You know…it won't be too bad if you don't struggle," Jiraiya smirked.

That comment was only replied to by even more screams from Pein, even with the gag on. (Have you ever noticed that Pein is a wuss? Seriously…he doesn't fight…he sicks his minions on people…yeah "Fear me! I am Pein, I have never lost a battle because a throw some other person in when a challenge comes my way! Now we will fight! Are you ready? Go…Itachi!") (So leader-like)

Suddenly, another shadow fell on Pein. Her eyes went to the cave entrance, and there, looking very ticked, was Orochimoro. "Get the hell away from my wife!"

All the bandits raced towards Orochimoro, only to be brutally beaten down by snakes. (How original) As soon as all the bandits were gone, the snakes went after the only porn novelist left. Blood coated the ground as Orochimoro walked over to Pein, who tore off her gag. "Get the hell away from me you fucking rapist! I don't like snakes! I fucking despise you! I loath your fucking being!!!"

Orochimoro tenderly picked up Pein, and she immediately went limp. "Are you done?" The snake murmured.

"Yeah, I'm good."

Orochimoro sighed, then began the fairly long trip back home…

* * *

Yet To Come: Heh...that was fun

Itachi: Yeah we took making fun of Pein to a whole new level.

Pein: Don't you both work for me??

Itachi: no comment...

Yet To Come: She works for me...

Pein: Wait...she?!?

Itachi: I'm not your Itachi! I'm another Itachi!

Pein: Yet To Come...

Yet To Come: what?

Pein: I hate you

Yet To Come: I know


	5. Neji and Lee

**Neji and Lee**

"Ah, Neji, now your youthful hair matches your body!" Lee stated, trying to make his partner feel just a little bit better about all that had gone on.

"The fuck, Lee…grr…why has fate betrayed me?!?" Neji growled.

Lee sighed, the two people had been sitting around on one of the fluffy beds, facing opposite directions, ever since they had moved into the house.

Lee suddenly stood up and walked around to the other side of the bed. He stood directly in front of Neji, finally Neji looked up at Lee. "Neji, have you ever wanted, or thought about, living with your fate in your own hands?"

Neji's eyes widened, then narrowed dangerously. "Well, I need something to guide me…everyone does."

Lee suddenly smiled, "Then why don't you devote your life to Youth!!"

"If it means wearing a green spandex, getting a bowl cut, and giving youth speeches….then hell no!" Neji screamed, jerking to a stand.

"I can't be married to a person who doesn't believe in the power of youth!! So, Neji, you must believe in the power of love!!!" Lee smiled as he threw his arms out, hoping for a hug.

"Fuck you…" Neji hissed.

"B-but Neji…it's better than it could be…you could be paired up with Orochimoro!" Lee snapped back.

Neji shivered, "True…I feel sorry for that Pein person."(_I wonder how they are doing…_)(shut up itachi!)

"Yeah, at least we're team mates," Lee winked.

"True…fate wasn't that bad to me…" Neji muttered, finally seeing some good in this pairing.

"See, Neji, we know each other…we've been in life or death situations together…you're my best friend Neji!" Lee gently put his hands on Neji's shoulders.

Neji actually smiled, "Well, maybe fate has brought us together for a reason."

* * *

(Meanwhile with Pein and a Snake)

Orochimoro gingerly put Pein down on a bed. Pein immediately bolted up and stepped off of the bed.

"When are you going to trust me?" The snake hissed.

"The day you hate snakes…" Pein snapped without missing a beat.

The snake's eyes narrowed, "Look…fine don't trust me yet…but…you know, if I hadn't cared about you…you would be getting-"

"I know," Pein shivered.

Orochimoro looked away from his wife. "Pein…don't run away again."

"I won't…" Pein whispered, just loud enough for Orochimoro to hear.

(aww…she's warming up…or…is she?)

"Good."

"Even if I did run away, you would follow me like the lost dog you are!" Pein's cold voice snapped, "Plus…I don't have the energy."

"Just stay in the house, Pein-chan." The snake mocked.

"Whatever you say, Oreo…"


	6. Kisame and Zetzu

Kisame and Zetzu

"Are Pein and Oro still arguing?" Zetzu's black side growled.

Kisame cocked his head and, hearing muffled yelling in the background, sighed and nodded. "They'll be fighting until the end of time…unless some magical angel helps them…"

"Poor Pein-sama," the plant's pale side murmured. Gold eyes glanced away from the plant's 'love'. Zetzu finally asked the question that was on his mind. "Hey, Kisame, why are the flowers on our house purple?"

Kisame looked out a nearby window. The wheels in his mind were spinning (and suddenly one wheel broke…and he died…and this story ended…forever!!! No? ok….fine…) looking for an answer. She glanced over to her husband, then watched the wall intently, as if watching it long enough would make it do a trick. "I…" The fish started, then he stopped.

The plant sighed, and seeing that Kisame was practically begging for Zetzu to change the subject, the plant obliged. "So, just wondering…what exactly are you?"

The fish looked over at the plant, her eyes full of question. "I mean…are you…I don't know…a shark?"

The fish jumped to her feet, "Shark?! Shark?? Where? Where?!?"

Kisame ran and hid behind Zetzu, falling into a fetal position, and began to tremble slightly. Zetzu looked around for a moment before gently picking Kisame up and placing her on his lap. "There, there." His white side whispered, "There is no shark here, and if there was anything that scares you that comes here, then you don't need to worry, I'll protect you."

The fish looked up at the plant (heh…plant flower…heh….) then slowly a smile graced her lips. "Really, Zetzu? You'll protect me? Even from a shark?" (Woah…Kisame…afraid of a shark?? Who could have seen that twist coming??? I sure couldn't….ok…I lied on that last part…but…don't bug me…)

"I'll protect you from anything," Zetzu's golden eyes shown in the dim light of the room. "You know, Kisame, you're beautiful when you smile."

Kisame looked taken back for a split second, "Th-thanks. I've never been complemented before."

Zetzu sighed sadly, "I know what you mean…people always see me and think I'm a bloodthirsty monster. (and….your not?? Liar….) People are always judging me…"

"How can people be so cruel?" Kisame murmured, "You're wonderful, Zetzu."

"So are we going to keep talking like this, or are we going to do something fun?" The plant's black half hissed slyly.

Kisame suddenly got up, hit one button on a near by radio (I don't know where they got it…hmm….oh oh oh!!! Now I do!! They got it at Walmart!!) and slowly walked back to the plant. Soon Kisame led Zetzu to a bed, and just then, 'We Are Beautiful' started playing. Kisame and Zetzu laid down on the bed, and then slowly

**CENSORED!!!**

(Ok….rant time….before we check up on Pein and the freak…I have to get this off my chest….figuratively…why in the world are anime names so freaking stupid!!! Pein has a girl's name…Itachi means weasel…Kisame is a stupid name…along with Zetzu, Hidan, Sasori, Naruto, Sakura, oh…and here's one that is worse than all of them….someone please tell me where they got the stupid snake's name…please…google it…yahoo it…do anything…just tell me!!!...rant over…….for now)

"Hey…Pein…show me how… 'amazing' you are," The snake hissed.

Pein gave the snake a cold glare, her eyes spiraling out.

Oro wondered about her reaction for a moment, and then it hit him. "Not like that!!! I mean do a trick for me!! It's simple…"

Pein placed her hands on her hips, "What?"

Oro smirked (oh gods), "Touch your toes and spell 'run'"

Pein rolled her eyes, then bent over, easily touching her toes. "R-U…" Pein snapped back up to a stand, glaring daggers at the snake. "You sick bastard!!!"

Pein turned and stalked away and up to the second floor of the house, Oro didn't even notice…he was laughing to hard.


	7. Kakashi and Tobi

Kakashi and Tobi .

The completely masked ninja wandered around the 'camp', looking for one person in particular. Finally, Tobi came up to a house with pink roses. The masked ninja (aka the spaz…..sorry for all the Tobi fans out there….but still….he is a spaz) walked toward the door of the house. He gently knocked on the door. And, when he got no reply, Tobi opened the door (dun dun dun…..bad idea). "Pein-sama? Are you here? Tobi needs to talk to you."

When all Tobi got for an answer to his question was silence, he started up the stairs. Half way up the stairs Tobi heard a ear-shattering scream. "Fuck off, snake! Leave me alone!" 

Tobi shot up the stairs and ran to the room that the screams were coming from, "Don't worry, Pein-sama! Tobi is coming to save you!" 

Tobi burst into the room. And as soon as he saw what was in front of him, he froze. Standing there not more than five feet from was a very pissed Pein being held roughly against a wall by none other than the snake. 

Tobi began to back out of the room, "Oh, Tobi is sorry, Tobi didn't know you two were getting along…Tobi thought you were still fighting each other. Tobi didn't know you were getting it on." 

Pein suddenly threw the snake two the ground, and ran over to Tobi. "We. Do. Not. Like. Each. Other. We! Were! Not! Getting! It! On!" Pein snapped, shaking Tobi violently with each word spoken. 

"Alright! Tobi is sorry! Tobi is a good boy!" Tobi cried out. Oro suddenly got to his feet, and stalked away from the pissed leader. 

Pein suddenly sighed, "What do you want, Tobi?"

"Tobi needs advice…how does Tobi get Kakashi-chan to like him? Is Oro-sama gone?" Tobi asked innocently.

"Looks like it," Pein stated.

"Good," Tobi stated in a dark voice, "Then now is the time I must warn you, Pein. Do not even think about getting close to that snake. If he gains your trust, if he is able to persuade you, Akatsuki will be his. Do you understand?"

Pein blinked her mind confused, "Why would I want to be close to that snake, Madara-sama?"

"Just do as I say." And with that being said, the masked one turned and left the house.

Tobi silently entered his own home, where he was about to slip upstairs when all the lights came on. "Where have you been?" A voice muttered.

Tobi spun around, "Tobi was a good boy! Tobi was taking care of some business." 

Kakashi shifted slightly, "Bullshit, where were you?"

Tobi did his best not to sound 'hurt', "But…but….Tobi is a good boy! Tobi needed to talk to Pein-sama! Tobi wanted to join Akatsuki…and Tobi wanted to see if he was a good boy…and if he could join!" Tobi squealed the last part. And, before Kakashi could say anything, Tobi was hugging her like there was no tomorrow. "Tobi is telling the truth! Tobi would never do something bad!"

"And so you try to join Akatsuki?" Kakashi hissed. She shoved Tobi off, and turned to go back upstairs, "You're a S-ranked ninja, you kill for fun, you try to capture the bijuu, you have no real morals what-so-ever, you would kill your partners if they no longer suit your needs, Tobi is a good boy my fucking ass!" 

(Into Tobi's mind we go:

"Shit….she's on to me!"

and now moving on)

And with that all being said, Kakashi started to leave. "Kakashi," A cold voice hissed, "Where do you think you're going?" 

Kakashi froze, (into Kakashi's mind "Fuck…I know that voice, but…impossible!")

(Random note…whoever said 'impossible is nothing' has never tried to slam a revolving door…)

Kakashi turned back to the completely masked ninja. "Y-you…sound…familiar. Too familiar."

Tobi's head cocked to the side, "Do you really remember that much? You surprise me, Teme." 

(You know….we could end this right now…and pissed everyone who is actually reading this off…but…) Kakashi's eyes widened, "You! You're…"

"Dead?" Tobi smirked (No one could see his smirk but uhh…moving on.) mockingly, "true, I did die at one point, but if it wasn't for the fact that I was given Madara's power, I wouldn't be here."

"W-wait, his power?" Kakashi stiffened slightly. 

"Yep! All of it!" An innocent voice chirped, "But don't worry, Kakashi, Tobi won't hurt you, Tobi is a good boy…don't ya think? Plus, if anyone finds out about this…I'll know the source…and Tobi's not afraid of killing the source."


	8. Kakashi and Tobi revisited

Tobi and Kakashi—Revisited

The morning after Tobi's little 'evil moment'. Tobi was as cheery and spazy as ever. Kakashi on the other hand, didn't want much to do with Tobi that morning, or any of Tobi's questions.

The two 'lovers' sat at a small table. Both of them was watching the other. One of the ninja had a look of pure innocence in their eyes, while the other one stared daggers at the first.

"Tobi is wondering…Kakashi-chan, is it strange to be a girl? Tobi doesn't mean to insult you…Tobi is just wondering. Tobi has always wondered what it would be like to be a girl…does that sound wrong?" Tobi asked Kakashi as the completely masked ninja fiddled with a spork that he found outside of his home.

Kakashi glared over at the excited ninja, thinking of different ways to murder Tobi with the tool in his hand. Finally, Kakashi decided to give Tobi a random answer to get some quiet. "Tobi…"

"Yes, Kakashi-chan? Can Tobi help you? Are you going to answer Tobi's questions?" Tobi squealed happily. 

Kakashi suddenly stood up, "Pie…" And with that said, the female ninja left the room.

"That doesn't answer any of Tobi's questions!! Does this mean Kakashi-chan (this just sounds so weird) doesn't want to talk anymore? Can Tobi go talk to Pein-sama? Pwease! Tobi is a good boy! Tobi wants to make sure Pein-sama is alright!! Please, Kakashi-chan!!" Tobi cried after his partner. 

Kakashi's ticked voice gave the reply, "I don't care!"

Tobi stood to leave, then suddenly walked back to the table, picked up the spork, then left the house. 

Tobi skipped over to the pink-rose covered house. Outside of the house in the front yard was a very pissed Oro. Who seemed to lack sleep. "Hello, Oro-kun! Isn't today wonderful!!"

The snake glared at Tobi, "Piss off, spaz!"

Even Tobi couldn't hide the hurt in his voice, "Wh-What's wrong, Oro-kun? Has Tobi said something wrong?"

The snake sighed (once again…you don't hear that everyday), "It's that damned Pein…she's locked me outside since last night."

Tobi walked up to the snake, "Aww, but you two seem to be connecting so well!! Tobi wishes his relationship to Kakashi-chan would go this well…"

"Keep your hopes up…I might want to trade…" Oro hissed, before stalking away to the backside of the house. 

Tobi watched as the snake slithered away, then slowly made his way to the front door of the house. The ninja hesitated for one moment. A clear vision of his leader destroying hundreds of ninja suddenly came to his mind. "Will Pein-sama not want to see Tobi? Will Pein-sama release her wrath upon Tobi?" Tobi whispered to himself before gathering his courage and knocking on the door.

A cold, angered voice snapped at the ninja from behind the door, "I've told you, you good-for-nothing bastard, go away!! I don't want to see you, I don't want to hear you, hell I don't even want to know you ever set foot in this damn house!"

Tobi flinched slightly at the coldness behind the voice, "Leader-sama…" Tobi whined.

"Huh? Who is that?" Pein's voice lowered.

Tobi relaxed at the sound of Pein calming down, "It is Tobi, Pein-sama, Oro-kun went around the house."

"How can I be so sure of that?" Pein snapped suddenly.

Tobi took a step back, "Tobi is a good boy! Tobi wouldn't lie to Pein-sama!"

"Okay…yeah it's you."

The masked ninja could just barely hear the soft clicks of the locks on the door. The glossy wooden door slowly opened, Pein stepped aside, allowing Tobi to slip into the house. As soon as Tobi was completely in the house, Pein snapped the door shut and quickly locked it.

Pein lead Tobi into a larger room. There were two sitting areas in this room, one sitting area was a white couch facing out toward a large window that showed the sun risig slowly over the horizon, the other sitting area was a tea table, with two seats. The two ninja decided to sit on the soft couch, well, more-or-less Pein sat down, and Tobi followed. 

"What is it that you wanted, Tobi?" Pein murmurmed, her voice low.

Tobi turned his body until he was facing Pein, "Tobi was wondering…how can Tobi make Kakashi-chan care for him? Do you have any advice, Pein-sama?"

Pein's head turned away, she looked out the window, her eyes reflecting the rising sun. Tobi, even though his leader had been transformed, couldn't stop the absolute feeling of awe that he got when he was around Pein. Tobi could see the strength, the confidence, the wisdom, the absolute power that was the Akatsuki Leader. "Advice…" Pein's voice snapped Tobi back to reality. "Well, I would have say--"

Pein was cut off by soft taps on the front door. "If that's you, snake…" Pein warned. 

"Open the door, Pein…my now sister." 

Pein dashed out of the room, unlocked the door, and threw it open. Standing in front of him was none other than Konan. "What are you doing here?" Pein asked as she showed the blue haired one inside. Unfortunately, Pein didn't close the door in time, and the snake was able to stalk inside, and slip up the stairs. 

"I, and a few other women, came here once news got out that there was something wrong…would you like some help?" Konan smiled. 

Pein sighed, "Oh yes…" Then she called over her shoulder, "Tobi will you come back later."

Tobi felt his self esteem fall. It took him so long to prove to Pein that he was worth talking to, and now it was just like before, he was once again being shrugged off. 

"Of course, Pein-chan," Tobi muttered sadly. 

Pein suddenly spun around to glare at Tobi, her eyes spiraling out. Pein was about to attack Tobi when a certain snake slithered down the stairs. The snake swiftly wrapped one of his arms around Pein's waist. "Oh, hello, Konan. When did you get here?"

Pein spun out of Oro's grasp, and coldly replied, "She got here the same time that a rapist broke into my house." 

Pein turned to Tobi yet again, "As for you, watch your tongue." 

Konan stepped in right then, "Seeing that all the other females have probably started helping…why don't I start helping you?"

Oro started back up the stairs, but not before he could get the last word, "Oh trust me, Pein needs a lot of help! But most of her problems aren't physical!"

"Shut the hell up, snake!!" Pein snarled, throwing a kunai one second too late.


	9. Female Frenzy!

Female Frenzy

Female Frenzy

Two weeks had passed, and still no on e could figure out how to turn the poor ninjas back to their original forms. Some of them had learned to cope with the change…others didn't. (A/N huh I wonder which couple I mean…) (Did you find the answer?) (If you laughed and thought of Pein/Oro…you get a virtual cookie of your choice!!) (claps)

Ironically enough the main character of this anime hasn't been mentioned too much…let us check in on our favorite blonde idiot…and Sasuke.

"What the hell do you mean, bastard!! First you treat me like shit, then you run off to that snake, you put a hole in my chest…and you want me to do what with you?!" A pissed Naruto screamed.

Sasuke looked taken back, but soon collected himself. He wasn't used to girls denying him what he wanted. "Well, since my fist ambition has no need to be fulfilled, I decided to look to my second. You were there when I listed them as a genin."

Lately, Sasuke and Itachi were able to put aside their family differences and become close yet again. (A/N not like that, fangirls…) Sasuke has been found out to be a very protective brother.

Before Naruto even had a chance to make another comeback, Sakura walked through the door. "Sasuke, stop trying to get laid by Naruto." She turns to Naruto before continuing. "Oh, Naruto, your hermit friend wanted me to give you this letter…something about wanting to know if you now look like your sexy-no-jutsu…if I were you I wouldn't answer him."

Naruto shivered as she took the letter, "Hey, Sakura, who all actually came with you?" Sasuke asked, sitting on the floor next to Naruto, and waiting for Sakura to do the same.

She quickly followed his example, "Well, me, Konan, Ino, Tenten, and Hinata. We couldn't find many more who were willing to come to help with this strange event…" (A/N I wrote this way too late…I can't remember any more girls…)

There was a knock, followed very soon by a click as Gaara and Itachi walked through the front door. "Sasuke, are you home?"

A smirk appeared on Sasuke's face as Naruto read the letter, "Living room, 'Tachi!"

Sakura snickered as Naruto paled while he finished the letter. Sakura no longer had a crush on Sasuke, and had managed to form a nice sister-like relationship with Naruto. Gaara and Itachi soon wandered into the living room, Gaara had his arm wrapped around Itachi's waist. As soon as Sasuke looked up to greet his sister, he jumped to his feet.

"GET YOUR HAND OFF MY SISTER, FREAK!!" Sasuke yelled, glaring at Gaara as his eyes turned red.

Gaara looked Sasuke up and down, "It's not like there is anything I haven't already touched, bitch."

Itachi quickly stepped between the two ninja, "Stop, both of you…I have news!!"

Yells outside snapped everyone out of their thoughts. There was a click, then the slamming of a door. Soon after, Pein stalked into the room. "If anyone hears knocking…don't answer the door."

"Relationship problems?" Sakura asked, smiling sweetly, and nervously at the great Leader of Akatsuki.

Pein's eyes seemed to spiral out as she revealed her most threatening weapon, "I'll kill him!"

Sakura stood and placed her hand on Pein's right shoulder. "You'll get used to him…who are you married to, Pein-chan?"

At that moment everyone but Sakura and Pein seemed to find themselves very interested in the moving of their fingers. Pein's eyes were like a core of a flame, "That snake!! The bastard who wanted to kill me when I was to young to fight for myself! The one person who left my organization!!"

Sakura gasped, "He's straight?"

Pein growled, knocking Sakura's hand away, "I still don't believe it!" Pein then turned to Itachi, "You wouldn't want to trade lovers would you?"

Itachi sadly smiled, "Afraid not, Leader."

The front door was suddenly broken down, swiftly Oro walked to Pein's side, "What's this meeting for?"

"Everyone listen!" Itachi called changing the subject, and taking Gaara by the hand. "I'm pregnant!"

"You raped my sister?!" Sasuke screamed.

"It was willing," Gaara corrected. Sasuke looked to Itachi, who nodded. All at once, Sasuke fainted, Naruto and Sakura started dancing around Itachi, Oro tried to kiss Pein, but was easily thrown off my the changed leader.

Pein and Itachi's eyes met. Now was a Do-or-Die moment for Itachi, would her leader accept this?

Pein raised one eye brow, "Holy Shit, Dude…"


	10. Turn of Events

Turn of Events

Turn of Events

_WARNING!! THIS CHAPTER MAY CONTAIN SERIOUSNESS!! WE WILL DO OUR BEST TO KEEP YOU LAUGHING YOUR ASS OFF!! BY THE BY…THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS __**FEELINGS!!**_

Pein slowly padded her way home. Seeing that she had many different thoughts to sort out…she took the long way. The sun had long since set, and the snake had long since gone home. Pein looked up at the dark sky, only one thought on her mind…

_**FLASHBACK!! (A/N NOOOOOOOOOOO!! **_You have been warned…)

_Pein had just left Sasuke's and Naruto's house and was headed home when a certain blue-haired sister to Pein ran up to her. "Hello my previous-brother-now-made-sister." Konan greeted._

_"Oh, hello." Pein responded, for once not responding coolly, and (A/N omg!! It's the end of the world!! Ahhh!!) smiled._

_Konan nudged Pein in the ribs, "Oh, my god, you smiled, who are you and what did you do to my brother…sister…transvestite?"_

_Pein rolled her gray eyes, "Ha ha…just because I'm a…girl, and I'm married to…" Pein trailed off, looking downward._

_Konan stopped laughing, "How do you feel about (A/N therapy all over again…) him?"_

_Pein's eyes met Konan's, "I hate him! I mean, for god's sake (A/N…god might not have been the best name…Buddha perhaps?), he's a freaking bisexual rapist! Hell, he even tried to kill us when we were younger! Or have you forgotten? He's a no good, arrogant, back stabbing-"_

_"He saved your life…" Konan cut in, "How do you really feel, Nagato?"_

_"I told you! I--" Pein stopped when Konan slapped her across the face. (A/N ooooohhhh!! Bitch-slapped!!)_

_"I have known you ever since we were kids! Every time you rant it means you are denying something!! Why are you denying this?!" Konan hissed._

_Silence fell over the two siblings, finally Konan asked again, "Nagato…how do you feel about him?"_

_Pein looked skyward…_

_**END FLASHBACK (YAY!!)**_

_How do you feel about him? _Pein brought her eyes back down, right in front of her was her own home. She sighed, thinking about her sister's words, then walked to the house, opened the door, and walked in. Oro was in the family room, snake eyes glaring at nothing in particular. Pein was about to go upstairs, to her bedroom (A/N yes they have two different bedrooms…if you had to be around that snake…wouldn't you want your own room??), but she paused. The gray eyed female looked at the snake, a sigh escaped her lips. Pein slowly walked into the same room as Oro. She walked right in front of the snake, and stayed standing there.

The snake didn't acknowledge Pein, didn't even look up at her. "Oro…" At that moment, said ninja got up and began to walk away. "You sit your ass back down, snake! And listen to what I have to say!!" The snake didn't turn to face the leader, but he did stop walking (A/N heh…snake got owned…). Suddenly five puffs of smoke filled the room, and soon all six of Pein's bodies were glaring at the snake. Oro finally sat down, still not making eye contact with any pairs of eyes.

"Look, I'm a bitch now…and I don't want to be one…I prefer to be a bastard…I'm used to that…sue me if I suck at being a girl." The original Pein stated. Her last restraint was broken as soon as the snake scoffed. "Don't give me that!! You're a backstabbing traitor!! As soon as someone begins to trust you, you fucking turn around and leave!! You test your pathetic ideas on children! Children for god's sake!! You are a fucking snake! You rape in your free time!! You sacrifice people to Madara!! No one is ever loyal to you!! You're a liar!! A deceiver!!" (A/N random rants are fun for the whole family!! Mostly at family reunions!!). Oro's head lowered. "But no matter what you do you still went around a saved my ass…and no matter what I try to tell my self…I've fallen in love…" The last was whispered, not meant for the snake to hear.

Oro rose to his feet and moved until he was standing eye to eye with the original. "What was that last part?" Oro had heard it, or he thought he did…but he didn't believe it.

"I-I don't know what you're talking about…" Pein looked away, not wanting his trained shinobi eyes to see her lie. The other five bodies suddenly vanished. "You are free to leave."

The snake refused to leave, and gently cupped one of Pein's cheeks in his right hand, turning her face back toward him. "What was that last part?" He tenderly asked (A/N….oro…and tenderly…just doesn't work…awww!! Fluffy moment!! OMG!! Was that just typed!! By me?! Ahhhh!!).

Pein's eyes locked with Oro's and for a moment she faded away, her eyes glazing over. And once she focused again on Oro, he could see her true emotion. Not some fake thing…that was when the snake could see this was so much deeper than he first thought. "I-I can't," Pein sniffled, then pushed away from Oro, and ran up to her room.

_**IN ZEE ROOM!!**_

Pein couldn't take it…(A/N gods I can't take this…) Oro's eyes were just like….his…true they weren't the same color…but…for that moment, they held a tenderness…encouragement…care…for her, that she had never seen in anyone else but him…

Now the 'him' she was thinking about was Yahiko, now don't get us wrong…Pein was not in love with Yahiko…but he did love him (A/N not in that way, sickos!!) in a brotherly way. Where Yahiko was the elder 'sibling' of both Konan and Nagato. So to see the same emotional eyes that used to encourage Nagato in the toughest of times and help him/her get through many tragic events in his/her life, was hard. Now unlike popular belief, Nagato didn't kill Yahiko…

_**FLASHBACK (A/N WHY?!CRIES)**_

_"AHHHH!!" Pain. Unimaginable pain. Coursing through every fiber of Nagato's body…but mostly his eyes. He couldn't take anymore of this pain…not only was it physical…but mental and emotional as well. Nagato began to claw at his own eyes, unaware of what he was doing. _

_"Nagato!! Nagato, stop!!" Someone grabbed his wrists, trying to restrain him before he finished what he had started._

_"AHH!! Make it stop!! AHH!!" Nagato screeched._

_Yahiko pulled Nagato against him, he hated to see his younger brother in such pain. "NO!! Let me go!! Let me stop this!!"_

_"No, Nagato…I won't let you do this!"_

_"Get off!!"_

_A godly light. Two screams. And suddenly the glow disappeared. Yahiko and Nagato were gone. In their place was a red-haired man. Slowly he got to his feet…_

_**END FLASHBACK!! (A/N AHHHHHHH!!)**_

Pein didn't know what happened, nor will she ever know…she just knew she was mad…and it took years for her to snap back to her senses…according to Konan there were moments in which Nagato broke through Pein. But these moments only lasted an hour or so. By the time she was back to her own senses, Akatsuki was being formed, the real Pein's mark on the world was made. Now Pein only appears in true moments of rage. (A/N pycho path on the loose!! If anyone sees a red-haired man with piercings in the strangest of places…please contact me…if you're not dead yet…and you might want to make sure he's not around when you contact me…he doesn't seem to like me too much……..).

_**Meanwhile outside the door….**_

(A/N by the by…I want all seriousness out now!!) (Please no more chapters like this!!)

Oro listened to the silent sobbing from behind the locked door. That was all the acceptance he needed. But now he wanted to know what was making Pein not be able to say it to his face...

Oro was about to go to his room when he heard a distressed cry: "Why the hell am I Pein?!"

He turned back to the door, and quietly knocked on the wood. As soon as he did the sobs stopped, and everything was in a deathly silence…using his ninja skills, Oro opened the door. Standing at the foot of her bed was Pein…but she was different. "What the hell do you want?!" She snarled, her voice lower and darker than usual. Oro locked eyes with her. Pein's Rinnegan was fully activated.

"You were crying…"

"I don't cry," came the snarled reply.

Oro knew this wasn't the time to be near Pein. Just then she dropped to her knees, groaning and rubbing her eyes, cursing under her breath. "Oro?"

"Yes?"

"What…happened?"

"You tell me…"

Pein suddenly screamed, "Ahh!!" Her hands worked at clawing at her eyes. Oro rushed to her, restrained her, and pulled her against him. Pein shook and cried for a moment, before falling completely unconscious…

_**Ahhhh!! Omg!! I'm so glad that is over!! I'm sorry!! But I thought that this should be a serious chapter!!**_

_Also I would like to explain one thing…in this story 'Pein' has two parts…she has the one we usually see…and the "true" Pein (the god and insane one). Nagato is also more-or-less alive. And at moments can take back full control._


	11. Examination day

Examination day…

Sorry it has taken us soo long to update….we were lazy….and busy with BORN CHAKRA RAISED MAGIC……which is a GREAT story in our opinion…..*hint hint* *nudge nudge* *nod nod* (get zee picture?)

**In a doctor's waiting room…..**

Pein sat, legs crossed at the ankle, on an examination table. "I don't wanna be at the doctor's…I don't wanna be at the doctor's…"

Oro, who sat at Pein side, snapped, while rolling his eyes, "Oh for the love of…Pein you had a psychopathic demon take control of you…I think a check up is in order. How long has it been since she's seen a doctor?"

Konan looked at the snake from the other side of Pein, "Never," she stated casually.

"What? How is that possible?!?!" Oro exclaimed, turning to face the blue haired woman.

"We were orphans, so no doctor would see us…then we got into the middle of a civil war, and we were only seen for wounds…then 'Pein' took over Ame…in a crazed rage…so we became S ranked criminals…so no one would see us…and on top of that…Pein has a certain phobia…" Konan rambled on as she glanced at her sister, who retorted with a sharp

"I do not…"

The large wooden door that was the only entrance and exit of the room suddenly opened, and three medics walked in. Pein's eyes darted from one with blonde hair, to a pink haired one, to the final silver haired one. "Why are there three of you?"

"In case we have to hold you down," Tsunade coldly snapped.

Pein glared at her, "I don't like you…and who the hell are you?" A pale finger was pointed to the silver haired teen, who was wearing a large pair of glasses. "And gods…how bad can your eyesight be?"

The pink haired medic giggled as the other answered, "I am Kabuto, I used to be Orochimaru's personal medic."

Pein looked at the snake, "you sick bastard…"

"Ah, yes, then I was appointed personal maid…" Kabuto sighed.

"Kabuto…" The snake hissed.

Pein suddenly smiled, "I like him!" The fire haired female then looked at the snake, "Why the hell couldn't you have made him drag me out of the stupid pond?"

"I was busy doing his laundry," Kabuto put in, causing Pein to snicker.

"Really, Oreo?" Pein chided, "You had him doing laundry in the middle of a battle?"

The snake nodded, "I was running out of shoes."

"Shoes aren't laundry…" Pein snapped.

Kabuto nodded, "That was my second task."

Pein began to giggle, that is until Tsunade approached her with a shot in hand. Pein shrieked and jumped into the snake's arms. Shuddering uncontrollably, and snuggling as close to the man as humanly and godly possible.

Konan shook her head, "Told you would we would have to hold her down."

The five other ninjas struggled for a few moments, but finally were able to hold Pein down. Sakura and Kabuto held her ankles while Oro and Konan held her wrists, the goddess whimpered as Tsunade once again approached, this round she wasted no time in giving Pein the shot, pulling the goddess's blood into the small tube. And as soon as she did, everyone took a quick step back, leaving Pein lying on her back on the table. Slowly, the goddess sat up, looking first at Konan and mouthing 'traitor', then glaring at the snake that now had his hands up in a defensive position.

"You snake," Pein snapped, a spiral pattern began to form in her eyes, "to think that of all the people in this fucked up world…I had to get stuck with you!"

Oro's voice stayed level as he muttered, "yeah, I get it, it's a fate that no one deserves."

"Stuck?" Kabuto questioned, "Oh, are you two…married?"

The snake nodded.

"But-I-You….I didn't know you were straight, Lord Orochimaru," the medic stumbled over the words.

All anger and hate seemed to melt away from Pein as she burst out laughing, "I really, REALLY like this guy!"

The snake took Pein by a wrist, and dragged her out of the doctor's room, "I think you're fine…"

After a single hesitation from Pein, the goddess, the snake, and the blue haired girl started the walk to the couple's house. The group heard a call from the hospital as they left, "We'll give you the results as soon as we have them!"

The snake looked over and Pein and noticed that his wife was holding the end of something that looked like a leash. "Pein, what?" The group turned around and saw Kabuto on the other end of the leash.

"I found him, Oreo! Can I keep him?" Pein smiled.

Orochimaru shook his head, but before he could say anything, Pein's eyes teared up into the perfect puppy eyes, "Pein…I…" Oro sighed, "Fine…but if he wets the bed…he's out."

---

"Pregnant?? PREGNANT??? I still don't believe it!! He raped you didn't he! Tell me the truth!! Itachi!!! I'll kill him!! I'll kill him!!!" Sasuke screamed to his sister who was at the moment sitting on a couch, impassive to her brother's rant.

Itachi sighed, "Sasuke…one minute you want to kill me, the next, you're trying to protect me….how badly did I fuck you up?"

"That was before you became a girl…let alone pregnant!!"

"What does me being a girl have to do with anything??" Itachi snapped.

"Uhh…well…" Sasuke desperately searched his small mind for an answer. "Being a girl…means…you can become pregnant!"

"We've established that," Itachi muttered. "Sasuke, get over it! It's been three weeks!"

Sasuke sat beside his sister, pouting, "but…but, Anki!"

"Stop it…" Itachi hissed, thinking '_he looks like a kid again_'.


End file.
